//48

[snowburned]

After reading a little, it looks like I'm not the only one who had a strange dream last night. I remember this from before... Well, if I end up dreaming someone else's dream that's embarrassing for them, I promise in advance to pretend I didn't.

Last night, though, Kiba--I think I had your dream.

No, I'm certain I did.

Comments

[blue-shields.livejournal.com]

Hopefully it's not going to continue to be utterly traumatizing for many of us.

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

That would certainly be the desirable outcome.

writing is hard and pressed into the paper

[starstruckstray.livejournal.com]

...pretty sure I got yours, too.

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

Seriously? I didn't realize people could just...swap.

Do you, I don't know, want to talk about anything? This feels so stupid.

[starstruckstray.livejournal.com]

Guess so.

...if you've really gotten hurt as much as you did in your dream, you need a fucking keeper.

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

Oh, shut up, I do not. You should [ink kind of jerks to the side]

Maybe we shouldn't talk about this here.

[starstruckstray.livejournal.com]

Fine. You at work?

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

Yes.

[starstruckstray.livejournal.com]

I'll be there in a minute.

[Kiba followed her energy signature to the clinic easily enough, as always, his sword at his side. When he found her, he frowned--yeah, she was okay, but dreaming about watching her almost die over and over was enough to make him edgy.

If Kazahana cared to notice, there was wood dust and splinters sprinkled over him; he hadn't bothered to brush them off.]

Yo.

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

Hey.

[The last patient she'd had to deal with--just a twisted ankle, nothing serious--had left a few minutes previously, so for the moment they were alone.

Kazahana did catch the miniature debris covering Kiba and raised an eyebrow.]

Did you destroy a bed or something? What on earth?

[starstruckstray.livejournal.com]

[Kiba's eyes narrowed at her question, remembering what had prompted him to kick one of the beds in the children's section to pieces.]

Yeah. Fucking clown bed. It looked all evil.

[And it had been staring at him. Probably.]

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

Are you feeling okay? You destroyed a bed because it was evil? Kiba...

[starstruckstray.livejournal.com]

Look, you were dying, and I woke up and that fucking clown was staring at me!

So shut up!

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

Oh.

[She can't help but shrink a little at that. It's not her fault, she knows--she didn't choose to have the dream or share it with others. But worrying the people she loved is always last on her list of things to do.]

It wasn't so bad. I didn't die. You saved me, Toushi saved me--if anything, I should just be upset that it seems like I never managed to save myself. But I'm here. It's all right.

[starstruckstray.livejournal.com]

[Now he feels guilty, and pats her awkwardly on the shoulder.]

You don't know that you never save yourself. You only got to see a little bit of your life in that dream.

[Clears his throat]

Anyway, yeah--least it wasn't all bad. You found your sword and stuff.

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

I suppose that's true.

Yeah...I did. She glanced fondly at the sword, where it lay in its sheath, carefully placed upon one of the beds they'd arranged in a circle around the self-made boundaries of the temporary clinic.] That much I'm glad for.

You saw the beginning, too, didn't you? When I...left that baby. You see why it shook me so much?

[starstruckstray.livejournal.com]

[He shook his head]

Nah, that wasn't you. I told you, dumbass--you wouldn't just leave a baby.

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

[And now she was getting annoyed. It was one thing to express his belief in her character--and she appreciated it--but another thing entirely to deny what they'd both seen.]

Don't patronize me, Kiba. I saw it, you saw it. Maybe there was some explanation--maybe it was, I don't know, a metaphor for something--but I still did it. I can't pretend I didn't dream it when I did.

[starstruckstray.livejournal.com]

[He frowns right back]

I'm not lying. She didn't look like you--well she did look like you--but it wasn't you.

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

Are you out of your skull? Unless someone stole my face--which would be gross and probably much more noticeable--it was me.

[starstruckstray.livejournal.com]

You're the one out of your skull if you can't even fucking recognize yourself! She didn't move like you, and she was all--

[He broke off frustrated, before scowling down at her]

It wasn't you! I know it wasn't.

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

It's not like I'm used to watching myself from outside my own body! I don't think most people are!

What do you mean, didn't--didn't move like me?

[starstruckstray.livejournal.com]

[She had a good point, but damned if he would admit it.]

She just--when she pushed her hair out of her face, it was different from when you do it. And you have a heavier step and a longer stride. It took me a long time to figure out why she didn't seem right to me. But I'm pretty sure that's it.

[Shrugs, as though he hadn't just made himself sound like a stalker.]

So yeah.

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

That...

[...made more sense than she would have expected. Still, it left her with even more questions than before.]

If this person-who-looked-like-me wasn't me, then where was I? Why would I dream about that?

[starstruckstray.livejournal.com]

Well, she did look a lot like you. Maybe it was your mom.

[He frowned.]

Which is still fucked up, in a whole other way.

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

[Her mother? Well, everyone had a mother, it wasn't that strange a concept. Then why did it feel so wrong?]

Wait. You're saying--you think I was the baby?

[starstruckstray.livejournal.com]

Makes sense if your dream starts at the beginning, don't it?

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

That's...that does make sense. I don't know if I believe it, but I was a child in the next part...

[And then something else occurred to her, something horrifying enough that she felt her legs weaken and quickly found a seat on the nearest bed.

No. No, it couldn't be...could it?]

Oh my god.

[starstruckstray.livejournal.com]

[Kiba jumps forward to grab her arm, alarmed at her sudden drop.]

What? What happened?

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

Hakuteiken said we're married because he remembered his wedding. He saw it in a wedding crystal.

[The words are coming out a little dazed. Instead of freaking out, she feels a little like shutting down.]

He remembered my face. But if there's someone out there who looks like me...maybe he didn't.

1/?

[starstruckstray.livejournal.com]

[Processing...]

So he might not be married to you?

[That should make him happy, right? Except...]

2/3

[starstruckstray.livejournal.com]

[starstruckstray.livejournal.com]

HOLY FUCK--YOU THINK HE'S YOUR DAD?

[Kiba--No tact. No discretion. No clue.]

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

SHUT UP! I DON'T KNOW! Oh, god...

[She wanted to throw up. She felt like she would, any second now.]

[starstruckstray.livejournal.com]

SHIT. HOLY SHIT.

[He finally noticed she's looking a little green, and tried to calm down for her sake.]

Hey, uh...you want a bucket or something?

[He didn't need to throw up, but he could use a drink or 5.]

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

No.

[She speaks quietly at first, but then with more certainty.]

No. I want a memory crystal. And if that doesn't tell me what I need to know, I need another one. Whatever it takes. I have to know this for sure, for myself.

[starstruckstray.livejournal.com]

[He finally calms at the serious, resolute note in her voice.]

Well...you can find them down here sometimes. In the Wilderness, I mean. We can ask around when you get off work.

[He leans into her, bumping her shoulder with his.]

All right?

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

[She leans her head over to rest on his shoulder. It's a small comfort, at least.]

Not really. But I'll cope.

[lemonshine.livejournal.com]

Not fun at all. x.x;;